Buddha Box - Full Episode - Season 22 - Ep 08 | South Park Studios Nordics

Cartman:So much has happened.

I don't know where to start.

First it wasall the school shootings.

Then these Wi-Fi scootersshowed up.

And now we knowthat ManBearPig is real

and we could all be deadin a matter of years.

And you believe...

this allrelates somehow

to the movie"Black Panther"

not being as goodas everyone says it was?

I knowthere's a connection,

but that isn'twhat matters.

I can't deal with peopleanymore.

It's just, everyone sucksso hard, you know?

Everybody is so stupid.

And they all walk around going,"Way aya ayay blarhghg."

And the only thingthat makes me happy,

the only thing I can trust,

is this.

But all people dois try to keep me from it.

I'll be in my room,and my mom will come in and say,

[high-pitched voice]"Eric, that's enoughtime on your phone."

[ Normal voice ]And then at school...

[ High-pitched voice ]"Eric, what are you doing?

You can't use your phoneat school!"

[ Normal voice ]And even my friends.

My own friends, they'll be like,

"Hey, Cartman,throw us the ball.

You're the Goddamnquarterback."

It's like everybody needssomething from me.

All I want isa little time with my phone

instead of always listeningto people's needy bullshit.

Oh, uh, sorry.Just --

Uh, well, you know,

young people have to dealwith so much today.

I believethat what you have

is anxiety.

Anxiety?Is that cool?

It's pretty commonthese days.

What it really ismore than anything

is an excuse to be lazy and lameto everyone around you.

Oh, my God.That's perfect.

[ Intercom beeps ]

I'm busy.

[ Intercom beeps ]

Woman Receptionist:Mr. Principal.

I'm busy doing stuff!

[ Intercom beeps ]What?!

Woman Receptionist:The vice principal needsto speak with you.

She says it's urgent.

[ Sighs ]

Oh, PC Principal.

Uh, y-yes?

Are you going into see the vice principal?

I really needto speak with her.

Uh, yeah.We're just, uh --

We're having an importantscheduling to go over.

Everything is okaywith you two?

There's no moreinappropriate behavior?

You know, as a counselor,I'm here to --

That's in the past,Mackey.

We've paid our dues,

and we're not hidinganything anymore.

Mkay.

[ Babies crying ]

I could use a little help here!

What's going on?

Riley said a word thather sister felt wasinsensitive to Muslims.

Now they're all upset.

All right.What word did you use, Riley?

She just said,"Aba daba."

Look, can't we put themin a daycare?

Oh, yeah.That would be really smart.

If anybody sees them,

they're gonna figure outyou're the father.

Well, maybe they won't.

You wanna risk that?

The babieshave to stay hidden

because if people knowthe truth,

then you're not PC,and I'm not strong!

[ Crying continues ]

Excuse me.

What wouldyou like, sir?

Just a God--Can you wait?

Isn't that your job?Aren't you a wait-er?!

[ Whooshing, explosions on cellphone ]

Hey, could you turnyour phone down, kid?

This is a restaurant.

It just so happensI have anxiety.

That means I have trouble

being around assholeswho won't leave me alone!

[ Bicycle bell dings ]

Oh, hello, Eric.

Shut up.I have anxiety.

Hey, kid!

Hey, kid!

I'm on my phone!

You're aboutto get hit by a car.

All right, that's it!

Everyone stop!Just fucking stop right now!

Listen up, people!I have anxiety!

That means I'm in my shell

and have a hard timeexpressing myself.

I find it difficultto engage with others!

So everyoneshut the fuck up,

because my anxietyis up here right now!

We live in a world of many distractions.

It's hard to find peace.

In the hustle and bustle of modern times,

we've lost the one thing we all need.

More quality one-on-one time...

with our phone.

But now you can have it with Buddha Box.

Simply fit the patented box on your head

and set its Bluetooth to your mobile device.

Inside Buddha Box,

your phone is projected two inches from your face,

and the noise-canceling headphones

let you hear your phone without any outside noise,

giving you peace from...

that annoying Uber driver who wants to talk,

those people at work who act like they need stuff.

I want to be enlightenedlike the Buddha,

but I've gotthese fuckin' kids.

Let Buddha Box take you to a place of peace and serenity

where you can have quality, uninterrupted time

with your phone.

I was stressed outand feeling anxious.

After just 8 to 10 hoursin Buddha Box,

I feel refreshed and readyto take on anything.

Babe, can you please come say hito my mother while she's here?

♪♪

Order Buddha Box today,

and you too can have

that quiet, quality time with your phone.

Like the Buddha.

What the hellis that?

I thinkit's Cartman.

What is itdoing?

Ha! That's so sweet!

That video seriouslymakes me laugh!

Lemme check my e-mail again!

Oh, man, nothing from Lorenzyet? Whatever, weak.

Oh, I gotta see that postfrom Clyde again!

[ School bell rings ]

[ Belt unbuckles ]

Dude.

Dude! What the hellare you doing?!

What? What?Who's that?Get off of me!

Oh, sorry, Craig.Didn't see you there.

Yeah, 'cause you gota stupid box on your head.

[ Zip, urinal flushes ]Oh, there's nothing stupidabout it.

Don't you wish you had a wayto deal with your anxiety?

My anxiety?

I see it in you, Craig.

With your parentsand relationships.

Imagine being able to shut themout for a little while, Craig,

so you can focuson what matters.

With Buddha Box, you can cut outall the unwanted noise.

Not have to dealwith conversations

that are of no interestto you.

Well, I have to admit,

sometimes when me and Tweekare together,

it's -- it's like he wantsmy atten--

[ School bell rings ]

All right, children,

we have a lot to go overfor today's quiz.

Who can tell mewhere we left off?

Eric.

Eric Cartman.

$34 million box office?

How the hell does "Creed II"do $34 million opening weekend?

What's the weather liketomorrow?

Oh, it's snowing?I gotta tell Lorenz. I --

Whoa, whoa!Hey!

What do you thinkyou're doing?

Excuse me.That's my Buddha Box.

You aren't using thisduring class time.

It relaxes me.Ask my therapist.

I have anxiety,you dumb bitch.

I don't knowwhat makes you think

you're differentfrom everyone else,

but nobody gets awaywith slandering teachers

at this school!

[ Muffled ] Aw, man.That looks so sweet.

Hey.

Hey!

Oh. PC Principal.Hello.

Just what do you thinkyou're doing?

I'm letting go of stress andbeing calm, like the Buddha.

There are no boxeson your head in school.

Hey. Whoa, man.What's going on?

Are you sufferingfrom anxiety?

What are youtalking about?

It's okay.I have it, too.

Anxietyis very real.

But there is helpfor people like us.

What the fuckare you doing?

Hey! What the fuckare you doing?!

Oh, hey. I just needed to answera couple e-mails really fast.

With a boxon your head?

I got one for you, too.

It's Buddha Box.

Look, you and I have beenhaving a lot of problems.

Clearly what we both need

is more quality, one-on-one timewith our phones.

I don't need a box on my headto use the phone.

I'm sorry!I was trying to be helpful!

[ Crying continues ]

All right, Riley, give that backto your brother.

Bailey, no.

Harper, don't --Harp-er!

[ Crying ]

[ Crying stops ]

♪♪

♪ PC Babies

♪ They're comin' to your town

♪ PC Babies

♪ The wokest kids around

♪ When there's somethingproblematic ♪

♪ They're gonna let you know

♪ Making thingsfun and gender neutral ♪

♪ Everywhere they go

♪ They're everybody'sfave-sies ♪

♪ They're PC Babies, yeah

Hey, Mike, what's thatyou're drinking?

This? Oh.It's a Cosmopolitan.

I know, I know.It's a pussy drink.

[ Babies crying ]

Hey,be careful, guys.

There's some PC Babiesover there.

[ Crying continues ]

Oh, great.

Come on, I didn't meanpussy drink

as infemale genitalia.

Okay, I'm sorry!

I'll ordera Black Russian!

Hey, what's all that racketdown there?

Oh, there'ssome PC Babies

upset about certaindrink descriptions.

Fine. We'll take themoff the menu.

Who's makin' a difference?Who's the future?

[ Babies giggle ]

Here it comes!Block it!

[ Whistle blows ]

What the fuck,dude?!

What is yourGoddamn problem?!

What's going on?

They just scored again,you fat fuck!

Oh, I'm sorry!

I'm sorry I'm dealingwith my anxiety!

Do you know how hard it isfor people with my condition

to come out and even dothings like this?

Living with anxiety isawful, huh, Craig?

Can we get anothergoalie, please?

Oh, yeah!Sure!

Yeah, because peoplewith anxiety

shouldn't be allowedto play sports, right, Kyle?

You know, our worldis dark and scary enough

without people like youmaking us feel inferior.

Asshole.

Fuck this.

My parents didn't come hereto watch their son lose

by 20 points!

Come on, Dad.Let's go!

Dad?

Emory?!

It's okay.We're gonna find them.

I can't believeyou were on your phone.

You were onyour phone, too.

It was my timeto be on the phone.

You were on yoursall morning!

You're seriously gonna make thisall my fault.Yes!

Because last I checked,you didn't even want me around

as a partner to the PC Babies,even though I --

Oh, God!I'm not doing this again.

Even though you need meto do shit for you

every 10fucking minutes.

You don't get to just saywhatever you --

Oh. Okay, cool.Fine with me.

I'm the one who hasa fucking problem

on their fucking phone.

You know, usually,I'm afraid to tell you

what I really think,but you wanna know something?

You wanna --

You wanna knowwhat I really think?

But living with someonewho has anxiety can

be a bit of a roller coaster,as well.

We have to support ourloved ones with their anxiety

and try to understandtheir illness.

I just feel like Craig haschanged so much lately!

He barely eventalks to me anymore!

Well, because his anxietymakes him feel like

anything he saysmight sound wrong.

That's why we must nurtureour loved ones

so they feel safe.

Eric, I just feel like you haveso much to offer the world

and it kills me thatyou're so afraid

to let yourinner you shine.

[ Chuckles ]That guy's such a douche.

What was that -- what was thatone show he was on?

Maybe you -- you wannatext him that?

Oh, yeah, "B.J. and the Bear."That show was so dumb.

What kind of monkeywas that anyway?

What was that --What was that monkey --

Wait -- What the --What the hell is this?

Oh, God damn it!

Mom, will you stop texting me,please? I'm trying to relax!

Look, we're alljust trying

to understandthis condition,

and it's likeyou're not listening.

We're doingeverything we can

to keep our anxietyunder control!

Do you think I even wannabe here right now!

I am freaking out!

Can we go now?

[ Laughs ] Yeah,that's pretty cool.

Why aren't you peopleworking?

We can't keepbuildin', sir.

We got a bunch of protestorswho won't let us work.

Protestors?Who?

Ugh, just a bunchof PC Babies

who think building this thingis wrong.

[ All crying ]

All right! All right!What do you PC Babies want?

[ Crying continues ]

I guess they're upsetbecause the new viaduct

is being financed by a staterather than county institution.

Aw, come on, PC Babies!Why does that matter?

I guess the staterefused to finance

a proposed programon race-relation education,

and they see itas hypocritical.

God damn it!

Not everyone cares aboutrace relation programs!

Come on, PC Babies!We got a job to do!

Crying continues ]

All right, all right,just calm down, lady!

You want to filea Missing-Persons report?

No! No, we don't want to fileanything specific.

We just need help findingsome PC Babies.

PC Babies?

They usually hang outat liberal arts colleges.

You could find some there.

No, no, it's fivespecific PC Babies.

Tony, wasn'tthere a report

of some PC Babiesdown at the Mexican border?

No, no, these PC Babieswouldn't have gotten that far.

They can barely walk.I'm their mother.

Okay, okay.Last name?

Woman.

First name?

[ Voice breaking ]S-strong...

Okay.And you're the father?

No!

I am her superiorat work!

Don't be ridiculous!

You think I took advantageof my position?!

I'm not some two bit floozy...I'm not Harvey Weinstein,

who goes around sleepingwith the boss!...all right?!

I have nothing but respectfor females in my workplace...I am a strong woman!

Those kids were born naturallyby in-vitro fertilization!...and I would nevercompromise that position!

[ Telephone rings in distance ]

We'll, uh...see what we can do.

In the meantime, you'll justhave to take a seat and wait.

[ Telephone rings in distance ]

♪♪

[ Water splashing ]

[ Indistinct shouting,laughter ]

Go.

Go!

What do you want?

Go down the slideor get out of the way!

You think I even wantto be here, Kyle?

My therapist told meI need to force myself

to go out and do thingsto overcome my anxiety.

Can we move him,please?!

Oh! Oh, I see!

People with anxiety shouldn't beallowed at water parks.

Is that it, Kyle?

Hey, everybody!Just so you know!

Kyle thinks people with anxietyshould just stay home!

Yeah, I'm trying to comeout of my shell,

but Dr. Kyle here is justworried about his place in line.

Get. Off. My. Towel.

Get off my towel!

God damn it!

I seriously can't geta minute of peace!

Why is it that people who don'thave a Buddha box

are always flippingBuddha boxes off the heads

of people with anxiety?

I got news for you, Cartman!Everyone has anxiety!

Everyone gets nervous!

Everyone is afraidbeing around people!

Everyone has feelingsthey'd rather stay home alone.

And you know what they do?They get over it!

And they stop beinga piece of shit.

Everyone has anxiety?

Yes.

Oh, my God!

I know whatI have to do now!

Y-You're right, Kyle!

You're right!

What?!

No, no!

What did I just do?

Should have just let him beon his phone, dude.

They like music that matters!

I think you guysgot what it takes

to be the next big thing!

The PC Babies!

[ PC Babies cry ]

That's what I'm talkin' about!That stuff is raw!

Everyone loves you,PC Babies!

We're gonna make you famous!

All right, PC Babies,let's hear what you got.

[ Music plays, PC Babies cry ]

♪♪

Deejay: All right, South Park,

and now here's that special treat we told you about.

Live with us in the studio is a hot new band --

The PC Babies.

They're gonna perform their new song,

which is about the injustice of white people in dreadlocks.

It's called "Waaaaghgh."

[ Music plays, PC Babies cry ]

♪♪

Riley?

Th-That's Bailey!

It's the PC Babies --guess they're all the rage now.

Come on!

To quiet one's mind...

one must have a dialoguewith oneself.

I have found enlightenment,

but there are so many otherswho suffer...

It's very importantto take the time

to shut out the outside word.

In the Hindu religion,there's a saying, "namaste."

It means, "Fuck you.I have anxiety."

At first, I thoughtit was only a few of us.

But then something wassaid to me by Kyle.

He said "Eric, my friend,everyone has anxiety."

I know whatyou're thinking.

Fuck Kyle.

And normally,I would agree with you.

But hear his words.

Everyone has anxiety.

We must recognize this diseaseas an epidemic.

Yes, fuck Kyle, but, Mayor,we have to raise money

to get everyone who has anxietythe tools they need to cope.

And how do you thinkwe get that money?

How do you suggestwe do this?

Namaste.

Na-ma-ste.

Fuck you, too.

That was far out,PC Babies!

You really rockedthe airwaves!

Now come on.We got a photo shoot at 5:00!

Kids!

You're okay!Thank God!

Who the hell are you?

I'm their...vice principal.

Yes, and I-I'mtheir principal.

We need to get these kidsback to school.

You can't do that!These are the PC Babies!

Don't you knowhow big they are?

In just one day,they protested a bar,

stopped constructionof a problematic viaduct,

and wrote a hit singleabout cultural appropriation.

They...

did all that?

Oh, my God.

They had theirfirst protests...

and we missed it.

We missed everything because...we were on our phones.

I've always used the phoneas a way to deal

with the stressof having babies

nobody couldknow the truth about,

but it's onlymade it worse.

You know what we haveto do, right?

Yeah...I think so.

The vice principal and I havebeen discussing student health.

And it's our firm beliefthat what they need,

and what we all need,is less time on our phones.

Yes, yes I knowit's an unpopular idea,

but just hear me out,please.

Our phones arethe cause of stress,

not the relief from it.

We are banning phonesand Buddha Boxes from school,

and we suggest you all

strictly limit their useat home, as well.

I don't think anyone'slistening to you.

Yeah.

Nobody's listening.

♪♪

And nobody'swatching.

I guess we could wait and banthe boxes tomorrow?

♪ You keep brushing that hairback out of your eyes ♪

♪ And it just keeps fallingand so do I ♪

♪ I am feeling likethe luckiest man alive ♪

♪ Today

♪ And I don't knowabout tomorrow ♪

♪ Right now, the wholeworld feels right ♪

♪ And the memory of a day like

♪ Can get you throughthe rest of your ♪

♪ Life

♪♪