Black Friday - Full Episode - Season 17 - Ep 07 | South Park Studios Nordics

- THE HOLIDAY SEASON IS HERE.

AND BLACK FRIDAY IS UPON US.

AS YOU KNOW,BLACK FRIDAY IS THE DAY

SHOPPERS GO BERSERKFOR HOLIDAY DEALS.

LAST YEAR, 26 PEOPLE DIEDAND 461 WERE SERIOUSLY INJURED.

THIS WINTER,THE MALL IS OFFERING 60% OFF

TO THE FIRST 20 PEOPLEIN THE STORE.

- IT'LL BE A BLOODBATH!- ARE YOU CRAZY?

- FOR YOU NEW RECRUITS,

PERHAPS YOU TOOK THIS JOB TO SEEJUST WHAT THE VIOLENCE WAS LIKE,

OR PERHAPS YOUTHOUGHT WORKING BLACK FRIDAY

WOULDN'T BE A BIG DEAL.

- I'M JUST TRYING TO EARNSOME EXTRA HOLIDAY CASH.

- OR MAYBE YOU'RE JUSTTOO STUPID TO REALIZE

WHAT YOU'VE GOTTENYOURSELVES INTO.

- THAT'S ENOUGH!

OUR ONLY CHANCE OF SURVIVINGTHIS YEAR'S SALE

IS BY STICKING TOGETHER.

THOSE OF YOU WHO SIGNED UPARE TO BE COMMENDED.

BUT I WARN YOU,

DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE BATTLETHAT'S ABOUT TO TAKE PLACE

OUTSIDE THOSE DOORS.

WINTER IS COMING.

- GOOD EVENING, SIR.

I'M CALLING TOGETHERALL THE FIGHTERS OF ZARON.

I NEED TO SPEAKWITH LADY MCKORMICK.

- SHE'S NOT HERERIGHT NOW.

- PLEASE TELL HER THERE'S TO BEA MEETING IN THE GREAT HALL.

I HAVE FOUND A WAYTO GET XBOX ONES

AND THE FAIR LADY MCKORMICKWILL WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT.

[overlapping chatter]

- [banging]

THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING.

PRINCE TOKEN,SIR TIMMY OF BLACKLAKE,

LADY MCKORMICK.

- [giggles]

- WARRIORS, WE HAVE FOUGHTMANY GREAT BATTLES TOGETHER

AT CLAUDE'S HOUSE,AT SCOTT MALKINSON'S HOUSE.

BUT SOON WE WILL BE FIGHTINGTHE GREATEST BATTLE

OF OUR YOUNG, HOT LIVES.

WINTER IS COMING.

AND THE NEXT GEN GAMING DEVICESARE HITTING THE SHELVES.

- WHICH NOBODY CAN AFFORD.

- WHAT IF I WERE TO TELL YOUTHAT IF WE ALL WORK TOGETHER

THERE'S A WAY WE CANGET THE NEW GAMING SYSTEMS?

- IF YOU KNOW OF A WAY WIZARD,THEN SPEAK.

- I'VE LEARNED OF A DARK MAGICAT WORK.

THE DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING,

THE FIRST 20 PEOPLEINSIDE THE MALL

GET 60% OF WHATEVER THEY WANT.

THEY'RE CALLING IT"BLACK FRIDAY".

- WHOA! SPOOKY!

- BLACK FRIDAY?COME ON, THAT CAN'T BE REAL.

- IT IS REAL, CRAIG.I SAW IT ON THE NEWS, BUTTHOLE.

- IT IS REAL.THEY DO IT EVERY YEAR.

BUT EVERYONE IN TOWN TRIESTO BE THE FIRST INSIDE THE MALL

ON BLACK FRIDAY.

WHAT CHANCE DO WE HAVE?- ON OUR OWN, NONE.

BUT IF WE PLAN, STRATEGIZE,AND FIGHT TOGETHER,

WE CAN BE THE FIRST PEOPLEINSIDE ON BLACK FRIDAY

AND USE THE 60% TO GETTHE GAMING SYSTEMS

WE NEED TO SURVIVE.

AND WE ALL KNOWWHAT THAT MEANS.

- THAT'S RIGHT, BLACK FRIDAYIS JUST AROUND THE CORNER.

- OUCH.

- AND PEOPLE ARE ALREADYGEARING UP.

- WE USUALLY START LINING UPAROUND 3:00 A.M.

WE, UH, DOUSE OURSELVESIN PIG BLOOD,

BECAUSE IT DOES HELP USSLIP THROUGH THE CROWD

WHEN THE DOORS OPEN.

- WE DO IT EVERY YEAR,PART OF THE FAMILY TRADITION.

LAST YEARWE LOST OUR YOUNGEST DAUGHTER.

HER HEAD WAS STEPPED ONAND CRUSHED.

BUT IN HER MEMORY,

WE'RE GOING TO FIND A YOUNG GIRLAND STEP ON HER HEAD THIS YEAR.

- IF ANYONE THINKS THEY'RE GONNABEAT ME INSIDE THAT MALL

AND KEEP ME FROM GETTINGMY KIDS' CHRISTMAS PRESENTS,

THEY CAN KISS MY FAT VAGINA,

'CAUSE I'M BRINGINGTHE MOTHER[BEEPED] PAIN.

- TOM, THE SOUTH PARK MALLSAYS THEY'VE BEEFED UP SECURITY

IN AN EFFORT TO REDUCE

THE NUMBER OF FATALITIESTHIS YEAR.

ONE THING'S FOR SURE,

PEOPLE TAKE BLACK FRIDAYVERY SERIOUSLY.

- YES. YES, VERY NICE.GOOD.

- WIZARD CARTMAN, I HAVE NEWSFROM THE INTERNET, MILORD.

- THEY DON'T SALUTEIN GAME OF THRONES, BUTTERS.

- SORRY,I HAVEN'T WATCHED IT YET.

- OKAY, WELL, YOU NEEDTO START IMMEDIATELY, PLEASE.

[clears throat]AH, VERY GOOD!

THE HOUSE OF GREYHAWKHAS AGREED TO JOIN OUR FIGHT.

- THE HOUSE OF GREYHAWK?

- LARRY AND BRAD STOLSKY.

- BUT, MY FRIENDS,WE MUST STILL FIND OTHERS

WHO WILL FIGHT BY OUR SIDE.

ARE THERE NO OTHER FACTIONSWE CAN CALL TO OUR AID?

- YEAH, I KNOW.

HOW ABOUT WE ASK THOSE KIDSWHO PLAY STAR TREK?

- UH, NO, SCREW THOSE GUYS.

THEY'RE DORKSAND I'M NOT PLAYING WITH THEM.

- HEY, THAT'SWHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

GOT ANY EXTRA OF THAT?

OH, THANKS.

GETS A LITTLE BORINGAROUND HERE, YOU KNOW?

- ENJOY THE BOREDOMWHILE YOU CAN.

- SO YOU WORKED HERELAST WINTER?

YOU WORKED ON BLACK FRIDAY?

- I DID.

- IS IT REALLY AS BADAS THEY SAY IT IS?

[dramatic music]

- THE SHOPPERS...

STARTED SHOWING UPAT MIDNIGHT ON THURSDAY.

THEY DIDN'T LINE UP,

THEY JUST CRAMMED THEMSELVESNEAR THE MAIN ENTRANCE.

I CAN SEE THEIR FACES SMUSHED UPAGAINST THE GLASS,

LICKING THEIR LIPS,WAITING TO GET IN.

GOD, THE SOUNDSTHAT THEY MADE.

IT WAS 5:00 A.M.WHEN THEY OPENED THEY DOORS.

THERE WAS SCREAMING, BLOOD,

PEOPLE TEARING EACH OTHER'SFACES OFF

WHILE HOLIDAY MUSIC PLAYEDIN THE BACKGROUND.

I SAW A WOMAN PICK UPHER DAUGHTER BY THE ANKLE

AND SWING HERINTO SOME OLD GUY'S HEAD.

BEFORE I KNEW IT, THEY WEREALL AROUND ME FIGHTING, CLAWING.

THEN A HAND REACHED INAND PULLED ME OUT.

OLD CAP.HE SAVED US ALL THAT DAY.

WHEN IT WAS OVER,

THE FRONT OF THE MALLWAS COVERED IN RED,

BODIES, SHOPPING BAGS.

AND NOW WINTER COMES AGAIN.

I'VE WATCHED SOME MORE GAME OF THRONES.

- AH, YES, PALADIN BUTTERS.ARE YOU ENJOYING IT?

- WELL, IT'S PRETTY GOOD,I GUESS.

BUT HAVE YOU EVER NOTICEDTHAT ALMOST EVERY TIME

THEY SHOW A GUY'S WIENERTHAT GUY'S CHARACTER IS GAY?

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

- WELL, IT'S JUST THAT THEY HAVEA LOT OF GIRLS' BOOBS

AND VAGINAS AND STUFF,

BUT MOST TIMESTHEY SHOW A MAN'S WIENER,

IT'S BECAUSE THAT GUY'S INA LOVE SCENE WITH ANOTHER GUY.

YOU THINK IT'S BECAUSEGAY WIENERS ARE LESS THREATENING

TO WOMEN VIEWERS?

- I BELIEVE YOU MIGHT BE MISSINGTHE GREATER POINT OF SHOW,

PALADIN BUTTERS.

- YEAH, I KNOW.

WINTER IS COMING,

AND THERE'S DRAGONS AND ZOMBIESON THE WAY.

I'M PRETTY EXCITEDFOR THAT.

JUST CAN DO WITH A LITTLE LESSGAY WIENER IS ALL.

- WE HAVE WORDFROM THE KINDERGARTNERS.

THEY'VE AGREED TO JOIN US.

[all cheering]

- THOSE XBOX ONESARE AS GOOD AS OURS.

all: YEAH!- WAIT, WAIT.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT,XBOX ONES?

- THAT'S WHATTHIS IS ALL ABOUT, CRAIG.

WE'RE ALL TRYING TO GETXBOX ONES ON BLACK FRIDAY.

- I THOUGHT WE WERE GETTINGPLAYSTATION 4s.

- WHAT?- UH, ME TOO.

- NO, GUYS,

WHEN I SAID WE'RE GONNA GETTHE NEXT GEN GAMING SYSTEMS,

I WAS OBVIOUSLY TALKINGABOUT XBOXES.

- YEAH.

- BUT I WANT A PS4,NOT A CRAPPY XBOX.

- LOOK, GUYS.

WE ALL HAVE TO AGREEON ONE SYSTEM.

- THAT'S RIGHT.

- IF SOME OF US ARE ON PS4s,BUT THE REST OF US ARE ON XBOXES

THEN WE ALLCAN'T PLAY TOGETHER ONLINE.

SEE? THIS IS ALL ABOUTCOMMITTING TO ONE MACHINE.

- RIGHT.LET'S ALL GET PS4s.

- NO, THE XBOXESARE GONNA BE BETTER.

- THEY'RE NOT BETTER,THEY'RE JUST MORE EXPENSIVE.

- WE ARE GETTING XBOX ONES,GUYS, AND THAT IS FINAL.

- THAT'S EXACTLYHOW XBOX PEOPLE ARE.

- YEAH!- FINE!

IF YOU GUYS DON'T WANNAJOIN US ON BLACK FRIDAY

TO GET XBOXES,THEN THAT'S FINE!

- WE'RE STILL GOING TO FIGHTON BLACK FRIDAY,

JUST NOT WITH YOU.

- OH, IT'S GOING TO BELIKE THAT, IS IT?

- EVERYONE WHO WANTSTO GET PS4s, JOIN WITH US.

- NO, WE CAN'T DIVIDELIKE THIS.

STAN, YOU'RE ON OUR SIDE,RIGHT?

- I LIKE THE PS4'SCONTROLLER BETTER.

- STAN, THE PS4 DOESN'T HAVETHE SEAMLESS TRANSITION

BETWEEN GAMES, MOVIES, AND TVOFFERED BY XBOX ONE.

- THE PS4 CONTROLLERHAS A TOUCHPAD INTERFACE.

YOU NEVER LISTEN.

I TOLD YOU I THOUGHTTHE PS4 WAS BETTER,

BUT YOU NEVER WANTEDTO LISTEN TO ME, KYLE.

YOU JUST HAD YOUR HEAD SO SETBECAUSE...

BECAUSE THAT'SHOW XBOX PEOPLE ARE.

- THEN I GUESS I'LL SEE YOUON BLACK FRIDAY.

- IF I SEE YOU AT THE MALL,KYLE,

I WILL HAVE TO TRYTO BEAT YOU INSIDE.

- I KNOW.

- COME ON, KYLE.

LET THESE SONY [BEEPED] WALLOW

IN THEIR LIMITED VOICE CONTROLFUNCTIONALITY.

- ♪ CHRISTMAS IS COMING,GOOSE IS GETTING FAT ♪

OOH.

♪ PLEASE DO PUT A PENNYIN THE OLD MAN'S-- ♪

- WHAT THE HELLARE YOU DOING?

- OH, HEY, SHARON.YOU'RE UP, HUH?

I, UH--ALL RIGHT, LOOK.

I TOOK A TEMP JOB AT THE MALL.

I JUST WANTED TO MAKESOME EXTRA HOLIDAY CASH.

- BULLSHIT.

- I DID, SHARON!

I SAW THEY WERE HIRINGEXTRA SECURITY,

AND I THOUGHT IT'D BE A GOOD WAYTO MAKE MONEY.

- YOU'RE DOING THIS TO TRYAND GET TO THE FRONT OF LINE

ON BLACK FRIDAY, AREN'T YOU?

- NOBODY ELSEHAS THOUGHT OF IT, SHARON.

I WON'T EVEN BE OUTIN THE CROWD.

I'LL BE ON THE INSIDEWHEN THE DOORS OPEN.

WHILE EVERYONE IS TRYINGTO RUN OVER EACH OTHER,

I'LL TURN AROUNDAND RUN RIGHT INTO THE STORES.

I'LL BE THE FIRST TO GETWHATEVER I WANT.

- ISN'T BLACK FRIDAY SUPPOSED

TO BE ABOUT BUYING THINGSFOR OTHER PEOPLE?

- WINTER'S COMING, SHARON,

AND I'M A SNEAKY LITTLE BEE.BUZZ, BUZZ.

- THRUSTERS ARE AT 20%,CAPTAIN.

- ENGAGE, ENSIGN,WARP FACTOR ONE.

- CAPTAIN, WE HAVEAN INCOMING FACETIME REQUEST

FROM ERIC CARTMAN.

- ON SCREEN.

- OH, HEY, GUYS.WHAT'S UP?

- NOTHING MUCH.

WE'RE JUST ABOUT TO CHECK OUTA CLASS "M" PLANET

THAT MIGHT HAVE NEW SOURCESOF TRIRILLIUM.

- GOD, THESE GUYSARE SUCH DORKS.

- JUST FIND OUTWHO THEY'RE LOYAL TO.

- UH, YEAH,BIG DONG AND PROSPER.

UM, LISTEN, GUYS.YOU'RE XBOX PEOPLE, RIGHT?

- GIVEN THE XBOX'SFASTER FRAME RATE,

WE HAVE NO CHOICEBUT TO DECLARE IT

THE MOST TECHNOLOGICALLY FITFOR STARFLEET.

- OH, MY GOD,THEY'RE SO GAY.

UM, COOL.

WHAT IF I WERE TO TELL YOU

THAT WE HAVE A WAYFOR YOU TO JOIN US

IN GETTING XBOX ONESSUPER CHEAP?

- CHEAP XBOX ONES?FOR REALS?

- THE FEDERATION HAS AGREEDTO FIGHT WITH US.

WITH THEMAND THE KINDERGARTNERS,

OUR ARMY HASJUST DOUBLED IN SIZE.

YOU STILL THINKYOU CAN CONVINCE STAN

TO COME BACK TO OUR SIDE,DON'T YOU, SIR KYLE?

- I DON'T KNOW.

- YOU CAN'T CHANGE HIS MIND,SIR KYLE.

SONY PEOPLE DON'T THINKWITH LOGIC.

HE BETRAYED US AND NOW WE MUSTOUT-GAME-OF-THRONES HIM

BY MAKINGPOWERFUL ALLIANCES.

- OH, DON'T EVENGET ME STARTED!

I KEEP WATCHING THAT SHOWAND I'M STILL WAITING

FOR THE DARN DRAGONS TO SHOW UPAND KICK EVERYONE'S BUTTS.

BUT ALL I GET IS WIENER,WIENER, WIENER.

IT'S NOT ALL GAY WIENER,

BUT WHEN THEY DO SHOWA STRAIGHT GUY'S WIENER,

IT'S ALL SOFT AND FLOPPY,

EVEN THOUGH HE JUST GOT DONEHUMPING A PRETTY GIRL.

WHY IS THAT?

BECAUSE A SOFT WIENERISN'T THREATENING,

JUST LIKE A GAY WIENER.

- BUTTERS, YOU SEEM TO BESOMEWHAT OBSESSED WITH WIENERS.

- I'M OBSESSED WITH WIENERS?WHAT ABOUT HBO?

- THIS ISN'T HELPING US,BUTTERS.

- THE SONY PEOPLE MIGHT NOT BEOUR BIGGEST PROBLEM.

- [muffled]

- TWITTER SAYS THEY'REINTRODUCING A NEW ELMO DOLL

THIS CHRISTMAS.

- WHAT NEW ELMO DOLL?

- JUST IN TIMEFOR THE HOLIDAYS,

IT'S "STOP TOUCHING ME ELMO".

WHEN YOU PRESS HIS BACK,

ELMO PUTS HIS HAND ON YOUR KNEEAND SAYS FUN THINGS.

- HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TICKLEDON THE INSIDE?

I'M LONELY.ARE YOU LONELY?

CAN I WATCH YOU GO POTTY?

YOU WANNA KISS THE GUYWHO DOES ELMO'S VOICE?

- STOP TOUCHING ME, ELMO!

- ELMO ALSO HELPS KIDSBRUSH THEIR TEETH

WITH HIS TOOTHPASTE DISPENSER.

- MORE, MORE, MORE, OHHH!

- DON'T MISS OUT ON THIS HOLIDAYSEASON'S BIGGEST GIFT.

STOP TOUCHING ME ELMO.

AVAILABLE AT SOUTH PARK MALL,STARTING BLACK FRIDAY.

- MORNING, RANDY.- WHAT MADNESS IS THIS?

- WHAT IS IT, SIR?

- A NEW ELMO DOLL.

THEY'RE RELEASINGA NEW ELMO DOLL

JUST IN TIMEFOR BLACK FRIDAY.

- OH, CHRIST, NO.

- YOU'VE MURDERED US,YOU SOULLESS MONSTERS.

YOU'VE KILLED US ALL.

[banging on doors]

- OH, GOD,THEY'RE ALREADY LINING UP.

- ELMOOOO.

- NO, THEY CAN'T LINE UPTHIS SOON.

THIS IS CRAZY.- I'LL DEAL WITH THESE DEMONS.

IF YOU'RE HEREFOR BLACK FRIDAY,

THE LINE STARTS ON THAT SIDEOF THE ROPE.

- THIS ROPE RIGHT HERE?

- THAT'S THE LINEFOR BLACK FRIDAY

SO OTHER PEOPLE CAN DONORMAL SHOPPING TODAY.

- OH, OKAY, THANKS.

- ELMOOOO.

- GIVE ME ELMO.

DO YOU SIDEWITH THOSE WANTING XBOXES,

OR WILL YOU JOIN USON BLACK FRIDAY

AND FIGHT FOR PS4s?

- ARE YOU FOR REAL?

- YOU KNOW THAT THE PS4IS A BETTER CHOICE.

I MEAN, COME ON.

- OF COURSE WE'RE GOING TO GOWITH THE PS4.

THEY'RE BLACKER.- THEN JOIN US.

WE NEED PEOPLE TO HELP USBE THE FIRST 20 INSIDE THE MALL.

- UH, WE'RE JUST GONNA WAIT

UNTIL THE PS4s BECOME CHEAPERAND MORE AVAILABLE.

- NO, YOU CAN'T DO THAT.- YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

- DON'T YOU SEE?

THIS IS ABOUT MORETHAN BLACK FRIDAY.

BATTLE LINES ARE BEING DRAWN.

IF YOU WAIT IT OUT

BUT EVERYONE ELSE HAS ALREADYDECIDED TO GO WITH XBOX,

THEN THAT WILLBECOME THE STANDARD.

THE PS4 WOULD BE LIKEWHAT BETAMAX WAS TO VHS.

- WHAT'S BETAMAX?

- EXACTLY.

- WHAT'S VHS?

- LOOK, WE'RE JUST ASKING PEOPLEWHO WANT TO PLAY ON PS4s

TO FIGHTFOR WHAT THEY BELIEVE IN.

- SORRY, I GUESSWE JUST DON'T CARE ENOUGH.

- COME ON, SIR STAN.

THERE MUST BE KIDS SOMEWHEREWHO WILL JOIN US.

- LADY MCKORMICK, I WAS HOPINGI COULD TALK TO YOU ABOUT KYLE.

- [muffled]

- I'M NOT SURE IF HIS HEARTIS IN THE RIGHT PLACE.

IF HE WERETO EVER SWITCH SIDES,

IT COULD MAKE STAN'S ARMYPROBLEMATIC FOR US.

- [muffled]

- TRUE,BUT WE CAN'T LET KYLE

COME IN THE WAYOF WHAT'S RIGHTFULLY OURS.

LET'S FACE IT,LADY MCKORMICK,

THIS IS REALLY ABOUT YOU AND MEGETTING XBOX ONES.

THE OTHERS ARE SIMPLY THERE

TO HELP US GETINSIDE THOSE DOORS.

- [muffled]

- YOU HAVE A STRONG INFLUENCEOVER THE REST OF THE MEN,

LADY MCKORMICK.

ALL I'M SAYING IS THATWHEN THE TIME COMES,

I MIGHT NEED YOUTO USE THAT INFLUENCE

TO HAVE KYLE TAKEN CARE OF.

DO WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER?

- [muffled]

- HEY, YOU DAMN KIDS!GET THE HELL OUT OF MY YARD.

- [BEEPED] YOU, DUDE.THIS IS THE GARDEN OF ANDROS.

- NO, IT'S MY DAMN GARDEN,

AND I'M SICK OF YOU KIDSDRESSING UP

AND HAVING TALKS OF BETRAYALIN IT.

♪ BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ

70-INCH TELEVISION.

THAT WOULD BE GOOD.

OOH, BUT 60% OFF A COMPUTER.

MAYBE I'LL BE ABLETO SNAG BOTH.

- DOING ALL RIGHT THERE, ROOKIE?- OH! YES, SIR.

- SORRY,DIDN'T MEAN TO SCARE YOU.

- NO, I WAS JUST LOOKINGAT ALL THESE GREAT THINGS

I CAN'T AFFORD.

- LISTEN, I KNOW WHY YOU TOOKTHIS PART-TIME JOB.

- YOU--YOU DO?

- I SEE IT IN YOU.YOU CARE ABOUT PEOPLE.

SAME REASONI DO IT EVERY YEAR.

YOU REMIND ME OF MY SON.

HE DIED ON BLACK FRIDAYIN '89.

GUESS I'M STILL TRYINGTO SAVE HIM.

LOOK, I JUST WANT TO SAY I--

I REALLY APPRECIATEWHAT YOU'RE DOING.

I PROMISED MY WIFE THIS WOULD BETHE LAST BLACK FRIDAY I WORKED.

WHEN I SEE FOLKS LIKE YOU,

IT MAKES ME HOPEFULTHAT PEOPLE WILL STILL BE OKAY.

- YEAH, AWESOME.

- AW, DAMN IT, NO LINING UPBEHIND THE VELVET ROPE.

THEY JUST DON'T LISTEN.

- [sighs]

BUZZ, BUZZ.

- CARTMAN'S ARMY IS GETTINGBIGGER EVERY DAY.

IN ADDITION TO THE FEDERATIONAND THE KINDERGARTNERS,

THE XBOX ARMY NOW ALSOHAS THE KIDS

WHO PLAY HARRY POTTER, THE JOCKS,

THE SWIM TEAM,AND THE GLEE CLUB.

- WORD IS THAT THE SIXTH GRADERSALL PREFER XBOX TOO

AND WILL TEAM UPWITH CARTMAN AS WELL.

- AND WHO DO WE HAVEON OUR SIDE?

- BESIDES US, IT'S THE BOOK CLUBAND JANICE PINKERTON.

- DID YOU ASK THE VAMP KIDS?- THEY'RE STILL UNDECIDED.

- THERE HAS TO BE A WAYTO GET PEOPLE ON THE FENCE

TO JOIN OUR SIDE.

- PLAYSTATION.

- LOOK, SIR STAN, IT'S PROBABLYTIME TO GIVE THIS UP.

- WE'RE JUSTA DYING BREED, STAN.

XBOX IS GOING TO WINTHIS WHOLE THING.

- SO WE'RE JUST GOINGTO LET OTHER KIDS DECIDE

WHICH GAME SYSTEMWE ALL PLAY ON?

WHAT WOULD THEY DOON GAME OF THRONES?

WHAT WOULD THEY DOWHEN THINGS LOOK THEIR DARKEST?

- [clears throat]

- HUH?

[speaking Japanese]

- SORRY, TO DISTURB YOU, SIR,

BUT WE THOUGHTYOU SHOULD SEE THIS.

- [speaking Japanese]

"WINTER IS COMING.

CHOOSE SIDE."

[speaking Japanese]

- JUST A SMALL TOWNIN MIDDLE AMERICA,

BUT APPARENTLYA WAR'S ESCALATING.

- SIR, IF THIS WERE TO BECOMEA NEWS STORY,

AND IF THE FIRST PEOPLEINSIDE THAT MALL ALL GOT XBOXES,

IT CLEARLY LOOKS BADFOR OUR IMAGE.

- [speaking Japanese]

- WHAT'S GOING TO BETHE BIG ITEM

EVERYONE GOES FORTHIS BLACK FRIDAY?

IT JUST MIGHT BETHE PLAYSTATION 4.

SONY HAS JUST ANNOUNCED

THEY'RE OFFERINGA SPECIAL BLACK FRIDAY BUNDLE

CALLEDTHE "BRACK FRIDAY BUNDURU",

WHICH WILL INCLUDEFOUR CONTROLLERS,

A MAP OF JAPAN, $100 REBATE,

AND ALLOW YOUTO AUTOMATICALLY PREORDER

FOR METAL GEAR SOLID 5.

NO DOUBT SONYHAS JUST RAISED THE STAKES.

YOU'RE LEARNING TO FIGHTWITH YOUR HANDS.

KEEP PUSHING,KINDERGARTNERS.

SIR KYLE,I KNOW THAT SONY'S OFFERING

A SPECIALBLACK FRIDAY BUNDURU.

YOU KNOW THE XBOXIS STILL BETTER, RIGHT?

- YEAH, BUT WHY CAN'T XBOX

AUTOMATICALLY LET YOUPREORDER METAL GEAR SOLID 5?

- SIR KYLE, PREORDER DOESN'TMEAN SHIT, OKAY?

WHEN YOU PREORDER A GAME,

YOU'RE JUST COMMITTINGTO PAYING FOR SOMETHING

THAT SOME ASSHOLESIN CALIFORNIA

HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHEDWORKING ON YET.

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU GETFOR PREORDERING A GAME?

A BIG DICK IN YOUR MOUTH.

- ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP.

THE MALL'S NO LONGERALLOWING PEOPLE

TO LINE UP FOR BLACK FRIDAYUNTIL THANKSGIVING NIGHT.

[all protesting]

IT'S OKAY.

TO HOLD PLACES IN LINE,WE'RE HANDING OUT WRISTBANDS.

[all shouting]

AHH! OH, GOD!OH, MY GOD!

- WRISTBANDS!

- BACK! BACK ALL OF YOU!

IF THAT'S HOW YOU ARE,THERE'LL BE NO WRISTBANDS.

- NOW GO!- OW!

- BACK AWAY.

- I'M GETTING MY SONTHAT ELMO DOLL, YOU [BEEPED]!

- [groaning]

- NO!

- YOU DID GOOD.THE WATCH IS YOURS NOW.

- NO, YOU CAN'T DIE.EVERYBODY REALLY LIKES YOU.

- THIS IS WHATWE SIGNED UP FOR,

RIGHT, MY FRIEND?

- NO, I WAS LYING TO YOU.

I TOOK THIS JOB TO BEAT THE FRONT OF THE LINE

ON BLACK FRIDAY.

- HA. NOW YOU KNOWHOW SERIOUS THIS IS.

WHATEVER YOUR INTENTIONS BEFORE,PROTECT THIS TOWN.

YOU ARE IN CHARGE NOW.

TAKE THIS.

DON'T LET BLACK FRIDAYBE THE END.

- GET BACK INSIDE.WE HAVE WORK TO DO.

- WHEN WE STARTED THIS FIGHT,

IT WAS BECAUSE WE WERE TIREDOF XBOX PEOPLE

TELLING USPLAYSTATION SUCKED.

NOW WE'RE AN ARMY OF OUR OWN.

[all shouting]

I CAN'T GUARANTEEYOU WILL LIVE,

BUT I CAN GUARANTEETHAT BEFORE THIS IS OVER

THE WINNER OF THE CONSOLE WARSWILL BE DECIDED.

[all shouting]

OUR NEW LEADER HAS JOINED US

TO HELP MAKE SURE THAT SYSTEMIS THE PS4.

ALL HAIL THE PRINCESS!

all: THE PRINCESS.

- [screeching]