Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo - The Christmas Poo Collection Collection | South Park Studios Nordics

♪ WE WISH YOUA MERRY CHRISTMAS ♪

♪ WE WISH YOU AMERRY CHRISTMAS ♪

♪ WE WISH YOUA MERRY CHRISTMAS ♪

♪ AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR

LIGHTS, PLEASE.

AND THERE WERE,IN THE SAME COUNTRY,

SHEPHERDS ABIDINGIN THE FIELD,

KEEPING WATCH OVERTHEIR FLOCK BY NIGHT.

AND LO THE ANGEL OF THE LORDCAME UPON THEM,

AND THEY WERE SO AFRAID.

AND THE ANGEL SAIDUNTO THEM, "FEAR NOT,

"FOR BEHOLD, I BRING YOUTIDINGS OF GREAT JOY.

"FOR BORN UNTO YOUTHIS DAY IN THE CITY OF DAVID,

"IS THE SAVIOR.

"JESUS CHRIST, OUR LORD.

"GLORY TO GOD IN THE HIGHESTAND ON EARTH PEACE,

"AND GOOD WILLTOWARDS MAN."

AND NOW, SOUTH PARKELEMENTARY PRESENTS,

THE BIRTH OF JESUS.

UGH, OOH !

COME ON MARY,PUSH !

I CAN SEEITS HEAD !

IT'S A BOY.

( mumbling )

WAIT A MINUTE,WAIT, WAIT, WAIT !

KYLE, WHAT THE HELLWAS THAT ?

YOU NEED TO HOLDTHE BABY BY THE LEGS,

NOT BY THE HEAD.

WHAT KIND OF SICKWEIRDO ARE YOU ?

SORRY.

AND WENDY I'M STILL NOTBELIEVING THE LABOR PAINS.

OKAY.

MR. GARRISON,

WHAT THE HELL DO YOUTHINK YOU'RE DOING ?!

WELL, I'M TRYING TO DIRECTTHE SCHOOL CHRISTMAS PLAY.

BUT YOUR SON WAS HOLDINGBABY JESUS FETUS BY THE HEAD.

HOW DARE YOUINCLUDE THE NATIVITY

IN A SCHOOL PLAY ?!

DON'T YOU REALIZEMY SON IS JEWISH ?

SO ?

SO WHAT MAKES YOU THINKHE SHOULD PLAY JOSEPH ?!

BECAUSEIT'S CHRISTMAS.

OUR FAMILY DOESN'TCELEBRATE CHRISTMAS.

HUH ?

HUH ?

HUH ?

YOU'RE NOT GONNA LAY THATCHANNUKAH CRAP ON ME, ARE YOU ?

WHAT, WHAT, WHAT ?

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET AWAYWITH THIS MR. GARRISON !

GOOD, KYLE'S MOM IS HERETO RUIN CHRISTMAS !

SHUT UP FAT BOY !

I'M NOT FAT,I'M FESTIVELY PLUMP.

WHY ARE YOU JEWISHON CHRISTMAS KYLE ?

KYLE IS THERE ANYTHING YOUCAN DO FOR THE CHRISTMAS PLAY

THAT ISN'T RELATEDTO JESUS ?

HOW ABOUT THEDREIDEL SONG, BUBBY ?

I CAN SING"THE MR. HANKEY SONG".

THE MR. HANKEY SONG,HOW DOES THAT GO ?

♪ MR. HANKEY,THE CHRISTMAS POO ♪

♪ HE LOVES MEAND I LOVE YOU ♪

CHRISTMAS POO ?!

WHAT THE HELL ISCHRISTMAS POO ?!

MR. HANKEY,THE CHRISTMAS POO.

HAVEN'T YOU GUYSEVER HEARD OF HIM ?

KYLE, THATIS ENOUGH !

SEE, THAT'S WHAT YOU GETWHEN YOU RAISE YOUR CHILD

TO BE A PAGAN !

NOW, THAT DOES IT !

I AM GOING STRAIGHTTO THE MAYOR ABOUT YOU !

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,I'M SORRY.

WAS IT THEPAGAN REMARK ?

YOU GUYS LOOK,IT'S SNOWING !

YAY !

YAY !

WOW,CHRISTMAS SNOW !

TRY TO CATCHSNOWFLAKES ONYOUR TONGUE.

IT'S FUN !

THAT WAS SICK, DUDE.

HEY, WHAT THE HELLARE YOU DOING ?

JEWISH PEOPLE CAN'TEATCHRISTMAS SNOW !

WE CAN TOO !

NO, I THINK IT'SAGAINST THE LAW, DUDE.

OFFICER BARBRADY ?

WHAT ?

IS IT ILLEGAL FOR JEWSTO EAT CHRISTMAS SNOW ?

YES.

DAMMIT !

COME ON GUYS,

WE HAVE TO GOTELL SANTA CLAUS

WHAT WE WANTFOR CHRISTMAS.

YEAH, WE'LL SEEYOU LATER KYLE.

GUESS THERE'S NO REASONFOR YOU TO COME

SINCE YOU DON'T GETCHRISTMAS PRESENTS.

NO, BUT I GET CHANNUKAHPRESENTS FOR EIGHT DAYS.

TOO BAD IT'SUSUALLY A DREIDEL

OR SOMETHINGLAME LIKE THAT.

WE'LL CATCH UPWITH YOU LATER KYLE.

WAIT, I MAYNOT HAVE SANTA,

BUT I DO HAVE MR. HANKEY,THE CHRISTMAS POO.

WHAT IS IT THIS ABOUTCHRISTMAS POO, DUDE ?

MR. HANKEY,

HE COMES OUT OFTHE TOILET EVERY YEAR,

AND GIVES PRESENTSTO EVERYBODY

WHO HAS A LOT OFFIBER IN THEIR DIET.

KYLE COME ON,SERIOUSLY,

YOU ARE REALLYREACHING RIGHT NOW.

WELL, YOU'RE GONNA BESORRY WHEN YOU SEE ME

RIDING AROUNDON SANTA'S SLEIGH

WITH MR. HANKEY,FAT ASS !

YOU'RE NOT GONNA RIDEON SANTA'S SLEIGH

BECAUSE YOU'REA JEW, KYLE.

SEE YA' DUDE.

♪ IT'S HARD TO BE A JEWON CHRISTMAS ♪

♪ MY FRIENDS WON'T LET MEJOIN IN ANY GAMES ♪

♪ AND I CAN'T SINGCHRISTMAS SONGS ♪

♪ OR DECORATEA CHRISTMAS TREE ♪

♪ OR LEAVE WATEROUT FOR RUDOLPH ♪

♪ 'CAUSE THERE'SSOMETHING WRONG WITH ME ♪

♪ MY PEOPLE DON'T BELIEVEIN JESUS CHRIST'S DIVINITY ♪

♪ I'M A JEW

♪ A LONELY JEW

♪ ON CHRISTMAS

♪ CHANNUKAH IS NICEBUT WHY IS IT ♪

♪ THAT SANTA PASSES OVERMY HOUSE EVERY YEAR ♪

♪ AND INSTEAD OF EATING HAMI HAVE TO EAT KOSHER LATKES ♪

♪ INSTEAD OF "SILENT NIGHT"I'M SINGING ♪

( Hebrew )

♪ AND WHAT THE %$#@!IS UP ♪

♪ WITH LIGHTINGALL THESE %$#@! CANDLES ♪

♪ TELL ME PLEASE

♪ I'M A JEW

♪ A LONELY JEW

♪ I'D BE MERRYBUT I'M HEBREW ♪

♪ ON CHRISTMAS

OKAY CHILDREN,

DOES EVERYONE HAVETHEIR LEOTARDS ON ?

GOOD, IT LOOKS LIKE THEY'VETAKEN THE CHRISTMAS TREES DOWN.

YES, AND THERE'S NOTHINGCHRISTIAN EITHER.

THIS SHOULD BE GREAT.

OH, THIS COULD BE SUCH AWONDERFUL CHRISTMAS PLAY.

I WISH OUR LITTLE KYLEWAS HERE TO SEE IT.

♪ DREIDEL, DREIDEL,DREIDEL ♪

♪ I MADE YOUOUT OF CLAY ♪

♪ DREIDEL, DREIDEL,DREIDEL ♪

♪ WITH DREIDELI WILL PLAY ♪

SECOND VERSE,SAME AS THE FIRST !

♪ DREIDEL, DREIDEL,DREIDEL ♪

WELCOME TO THE SOUTH PARKELEMENTARY HOLIDAY...

WAIT, WAIT, THERE'SA STAR ABOVE THE STAGE.

THAT'S VERY OFFENSIVETO NON-CHRISTIANS.

OH COME ON.

HEY, DON'T PUSH YOURBELIEFS ON ME, BUDDY !

I AGREE.

OH BROTHER !

KENNY WOULD YOUPLEASE CLIMB THAT LADDER

AND TAKE DOWN THE STARABOVE THE STAGE.

AND BE CAREFULNOT TO FALL

IN THAT LITTLE POOLBELOW YOU KENNY.

THE SHARK FORTHE THIRD ACT IS IN THERE.

HMM ?

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

WELCOME TO THE SOUTH PARKELEMENTARY HOLIDAY EXPERIENCE.

BEFORE WE BRING OUTTHE KIDDIES FOR THE PLAY,

HERE'S A NON-OFFENSIVE,NON-DENOMINATIONAL

HOLIDAY SONGBY THE SCHOOL CHEF.

♪ I'M GONNA LAYYOU DOWN BY THE YULE LOG ♪

♪ I'M GONNALOVE YOU RIGHT ♪

♪ BABY I'M GONNADECK YOUR HALLS ♪

♪ AND SILENT YOUR NIGHT

♪ YOU'LL HEARTHE ANGEL'S SING ♪

♪ WHEN I'M SLIDINGOFF YOUR BRA ♪

♪ I JUST CAN'T WAITTO JINGLE YOUR BELLS ♪

♪ AND FA-LA-LAYOUR LA ♪

I WISH KYLEWAS HERE.

IT JUST DOESN'T SEEMRIGHT WITHOUT HIM.

YEAH, OLD KYLE'S GONNABE LOCKED UP FOR A WHILE,

SO GET USED TO IT.

OKAY KIDS, GET READYTO TAKE YOUR PLACES.

THANK YOU CHEF.

AND NOW SOUTH PARKELEMENTARY PRESENTS

THE HAPPY, NON-OFFENSIVENON-DENOMINATIONAL

CHRISTMAS PLAY.

WITH MUSIC AND LYRICSBY NEW YORK MINIMALIST COMPOSER,

PHILLIP GLASS.

( voiceover )AS I TURN AND LOOKINTO THE SUN,

THE RAYS BURN MY EYES.

HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY,EVERYBODY'S HAPPY.

HOW LIKE A TURTLE,THE SUN LOOKS.

WHAT THE HELLIS THIS ?

THIS IS HORRIBLE.

THIS IS THE MOST GOD-AWFULPIECE OF CRAP I'VE EVER SEEN.

HEY, YOU'RE THE ONESWHO MADE IT THIS WAY.

BECAUSE THE JEWS SAIDIT COULDN'T BE CHRISTIAN.

IT WASN'T OUR IDEA TOTAKE OUT SANTA CLAUS.

ALL YOU BASTARDSRUINED CHRISTMAS !

GET 'EMIN THE RIBS !

GET 'EM !

THIS SUCKS DUDE.

THIS IS LIKE THE WORSTCHRISTMAS I'VE EVER SEEN.

YEAH.

SAY WHERE'S KYLE ?

WE COMMITTED HIM.

WHAT ? WHY ?

'CAUSE HE KEPT SEEINGTHIS LITTLE BROWN PIECE

OF CHRISTMAS POOEVERYWHERE THAT HE WENT.

CHRISTMAS POO ?

YOU MEANMR. HANKEY ?

HUH ?UH-OH !

OKAY EVERYBODY,SETTLE DOWN.

MAYOR, WE ARE DEEPLY OFFENDEDBY THE NATIVITY SCENE

IN FRONT OFTHE CAPITAL OFFICE.

CHURCH AND STATEARE SEPARATE !

NO !

NO !

WHAT'S GOING ONYOU GUYS ?

THE WHOLE TOWN'SPISSED OFF ATEACH OTHER.

IT'S REALLY SWEET.

THAT ISN'TALL MAYOR,

THE SCHOOL PLAY ISDOING A NATIVITY SCENE.

IT ISN'T BEING SENSITIVE TO THEJEWISH COMMUNITY.

YOUARE THE JEWISHCOMMUNITY.

YEAH !

YEAH !

OH BOY, SUPER BITCHIS AT IT AGAIN.

DON'T CALL MY MOMA BITCH, CARTMAN !

MAYOR, THE NATIVITYIS WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ALL ABOUT.

IF YOU REMOVE CHRIST,

YOU MUST REMOVESANTA AND FROSTY

AND ALL THATGARBAGE TOO !

HALLELUJAH !

HALLELUJAH !

AND WE MUSTPUT A STOP TO

THE CUTTING DOWNOF CHRISTMAS TREES !

GIMME A BREAK !

AND I'M SICKAND TIRED OF THOSE

LITTLE FLAPSON COFFEE LIDS !

IF YOU DON'T WANT TOSPILL YOUR COFFEE,

THEN YOU SHOULDN'TBE DRIVIN' WITH IT !

( silence )

YEAH !

YEAH !

OKAY PEOPLE,

CLEARLY WE NEED TOREACH A COMPROMISE.

PERHAPS WE NEEDA NEW ICON FOR CHRISTMAS.

BRILLIANT IDEAMAYOR.

HEY, HOW ABOUT MR. HANKEY,THE CHRISTMAS POO ?

EXCUSE ME ?

OH BOY,HERE WE GO AGAIN.

MR. HANKEY.

HE COMES OUT OF THETOILET EVERY YEAR

AND GIVES PRESENTSTO EVERYBODY

WHO HAS A LOT OFFIBER IN THEIR DIET.

KYLE, SHH !

IT'S TRUE, HE DOESN'TCARE WHAT FAITH YOU ARE.

♪ MR. HANKEY,THE CHRISTMAS POO ♪

♪ HE LOVES MEAND I LOVE YOU ♪

♪ THEREFORE...

DON'T MIND HIM,

HE'S A VERYDISTURBED LITTLE BOY.

( mumbling )

OKAY KYLE, WE'RELEAVING RIGHT NOW.

WAIT !

ANYWAY,I'LL PUT TOGETHER

A CRACK TEAMOF MY BEST WORKERS

TO MAKE SURETHIS WILL BE

THE MOST NON-OFFENSIVECHRISTMAS EVER,

TO ANY RELIGIOUS ORMINORITY GROUP OF ANY KIND.

ARE THERE ANY OTHERSUGGESTIONS ?

YES, MR. GARRISON.

COULD WE GET RID OFALL THE MEXICANS ?

NO, MR. GARRISON,

WE CANNOT GET RID OFALL THE MEXICANS.

RATS !

IT IS SICK ANDDISGUSTING.

AND WE SIMPLY WILLNOT HAVE IT.

YOUR FATHER'SRIGHT KYLE.

SHEILA, LET MEHANDLE THIS.

HAVING IMAGINARY FRIENDSIS FINE KYLE,

BUT THIS SIMPLYWILL NOT DO.

LISTEN TOYOUR FATHER, KYLE.

NOW I WANT YOUTO REPEAT AFTER ME--

THERE IS NO SUCHTHING AS MR. HANKEY.

BUT DAD,HE ALWAYS...

SAY IT !

THERE'S NO SUCHTHING AS MR. HANKEY.

AGAIN.

THERE IS NO SUCHTHING AS MR. HANKEY.

THIS IS FOR YOUROWN GOOD, BUBBY.

NO YOU GO BRUSH YOUR TEETHAND MARCH INTO BED.

YOU WON'T BE OPENING YOURCHANNUKAH PRESENT TONIGHT.

PROBABLY JUST ANOTHERSTUPID DREIDEL ANYWAY.

WHAT DID YOU SAY ?!

I SAID IKE'S ON FIRE.

UH-OH.

OH, MY GOD !

I DON'T WANNA BEAN OUTCAST !

( echoing )

I'M NOT HEARING THAT.

HELLO ?

MR. HANKEY ?

HOWDY-HO !

HOWDY-HO KYLE,

GOSH YOU'RELOOKING SWELL !

GO AWAY MR. HANKEY.

YOU KNOWSOMETHING PAL ?

YOU SMELL AN AWFUL LOTLIKE FLOWERS.

I SAID GO AWAY,MY DAD SAYS YOU'RE NOT REAL.

NOT REAL ?

WELL SHUCKS,IF I WEREN'T REAL,

COULD I SING THISJOLLY CHRISTMAS SONG ?

♪ SANTA CLAUSIS ON HIS WAY ♪

♪ A LOAD OF GOODIESON HIS SLEIGH ♪

♪ DROPPING OFFON CHRISTMAS DAY ♪

♪ AND I'LL SAYHOWDY-HO ♪

MR. HANKEY SHH,I'LL GET IN TROUBLE !

♪ FOLKS WILL GATHER'ROUND THE FIRE ♪

♪ SING A SONGWITHOUT A CHOIR ♪

♪ PRETTY SOONTHEY'LL ALL RETURN ♪

♪ AND I'LL SAYHOWDY-HO ♪

( knocking )KYLE, WHAT ARE YOUDOING IN THERE ?

NOTHING.

OPEN THE DOOR !

MR. HANKEY,CUT IT OUT !

HUH ?

KYLE !

SAY SOMETHINGMR. HANKEY !

AND THINK ABOUT HOWYOUR POOR MOTHER

HAS TO CLEANTHAT BATHROOM UP !

( Sheila )WHAT, WHAT, WHAT ?

ME ?

HOWDY-HO !

MR. HANKEY, WHERETHE HELL DID YOU GO ?

YOU SHOULD BE WEARINGSOCKS TO SLEEP KYLE.

YOU'RE GONNACATCH A COLD.

NOBODY BELIEVES IN YOU,NOT EVEN MY FRIENDS.

GEE, THAT'STOO BAD.

HEY, HOW ABOUT YOU COME TOSCHOOL WITH ME TOMORROW ?

SO I CAN AT LEAST PROVEI'M NOT CRAZY TO MY FRIENDS.

SAY, THAT SOUNDSLIKE A SWELL IDEA.

WE CAN SHOW EVERYONETHE TRUE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS.

YEAH, WE'LLSHOW THEM.

TAKE DOWN ANYTHINGTHAT IS OFFENSIVE

TO ANY SPECIFIC GROUP.

IS MISTLETOEOFFENSIVE ?

IS ANYONE OFFENDEDBY MISTLETOE ?

+ WE WISH YOUA MERRY CHRISTMAS +LOSE THE MISTLETOE.

YOU GUYS,

I'M GETTING THATJOHN ELWAYFOOTBALL HELMET FOR CHRISTMAS.

HOW DO YOU KNOW ?

'CAUSE I LOOKED IN MYPARENT'S CLOSET LAST NIGHT.

YEAH WELL, I SNEAKEDAROUND MY MOM'S CLOSET TOO

AND SAW WHATI'M GETTING.

THEULTRA VIBEPLEASURE 2000.

WHAT'S THAT ?

I DON'T KNOW BUT ITSOUNDS PRETTY SWEET.

HELLOEVERYBODY.

WHAT'S INTHE BOX DUDE ?

IT'S ASURPRISE.

LET ME SEE.

OKAY, BUT DON'TSCARE HIM.

DUDE, SICK !

IS THIS SOME KINDOF JEWISH TRADITION ?

( mumbling )

WAIT YOU GUYS,HE'S ALIVE !

KYLE, I THINKYOU BETTER GET HOME

AND GET SOME SLEEP.

COME ON, DANCE !

DANCE !

DANCE DAMN YOU !

THIS IS VERY SIMPLE--

I'M GOING TO SAY WORDSAND THE COMPUTER WILL MEASURE

HOW OFFENDEDYOU ARE BY THEM.

IN THIS WAY WE CANFIND OUT WHICH WORDS

ARE LEAST OFFENSIVEFOR USE IN THE HOLIDAY SEASON.

ARE WE READY ?

HERE WE GO.

CHRIST.

( beeping )

HMM, OKAY.

CHAIR.

( silence )

CAMEL.

( minor beeps )

SAD.

( silence )

STUPIDWOP-DAGO !

( loud beeping )

BENCH.

MAYOR'S ORDERS.

OKAY CHILDREN,I'M REALLY HAVING

A HARD TIME WITHOUR CHRISTMAS PLAY.

THE NEW LAW STATESWE CAN'T SING ANY SONGS

HAVING TO DO WITHJESUS OR SANTA CLAUS.

THANKS TOKYLE'S MOTHER.

SHUT UP CARTMAN !

SO DOES ANYBODYKNOW ANY NON-SANTA

OR NON-JESUSCHRISTMAS SONGS ?

YES, ERIC.

HOW ABOUT WE SING

"KYLE'S MOM IS ASTUPID BITCH",

IN D-MINOR ?

I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALLMY MOM A BITCH, CARTMAN !

♪ WELL, KYLE'SMOM'S A BITCH ♪

♪ SHE'S A BIG,FAT BITCH ♪

♪ SHE'S THE BIGGEST BITCHIN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD ♪

♪ SHE'S A STUPID BITCHIF THERE EVER WAS A BITCH ♪

♪ SHE'S A BITCH TO ALLTHE BOYS AND GIRLS ♪

SHUT UP CARTMAN !

HOWDY-HO !

MR. HANKEY ?!

♪ MONDAY SHE'S A BITCH,ON TUESDAY'S SHE'S A BITCH ♪

♪ AND WEDNESDAY THROUGHSATURDAY SHE'S A BITCH ♪

♪ THEN ON SUNDAY,JUST TO BE DIFFERENT ♪

♪ SHE'S A SUPER,TWO-TON MEGABITCH ♪

GOLLY, THATISN'T VERY NICE.

I'D SURE LIKE TOTEACH HIM A LESSON.

♪ HAVE YOU EVER METMY FRIEND KYLE'S MOM ♪

♪ SHE'S THE BIGGEST BITCHIN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD ♪

♪ SHE'S A MEANOLD BITCH ♪

♪ IF YOU ASK ANYTHINGOF HER SHE'S A BITCH ♪

♪ BITCH, BITCH, BITCH,BITCH, BITCH ♪

♪ SHE'S A STUPID BITCH

♪ KYLE'SMOM'S A BITCH ♪

♪ AND SHE'SJUST A DIRTY BITCH ♪

♪ KYLE'S MOM,IS A ♪

♪ BITCH ♪

MR. HANKEY, NO !

WHAT THE... ?

GROSS, KYLE !

OH MY LORD KYLE,

DID YOU JUST THROWDOO-DOO AT ERIC ?!

UHHH...

YOU SICKBASTARD !

I WANT TO TRY TO HELP YOUCONFRONT YOUR PROBLEM.

I DON'T HAVEA PROBLEM.

WELL IT'S MYUNDERSTANDING THAT YOU,

YOU HAVE AN ACUTE CASEOFFECALPHILIA.

WHAT'S THAT ?

WELL, A FECALPHILIACIS SOMEBODY

WHO'S OBSESSED WITHMOOKIE-STINKS, KYLE.

MOOKIE-STINKS ?

I ALSO UNDERSTAND YOU'REJEWISH, IS THAT RIGHT KYLE ?

NOT ON PURPOSE.

SO THIS MUST BE A PRETTY HARDTIME OF YEAR FOR YOU,

BEING CHRISTMASAND ALL.

DO THE OTHER KIDSMAKE FUN OF YOU ?

SOMETIMES.

THAT MUSTMAKE YOU MAD.

SURE.

MAD ENOUGHTO KILL, KYLE ?

NO DUDE !

WELL, THAT'S GOOD.

YOU SEE KYLE,

SOMETIMES WE FEELLIKE AN OUTSIDER,

WE CREATE FRIENDS, OKAY,IN OUR MINDS, OKAY ?

BUT MR. HANKEYSEEMS SO REAL.

WELL, OF COURSEHE DOES,

IN YOUR SCREWED UPLITTLE HEAD,

HE'S THE ONLYFRIEND YOU HAVE.

KYLE !

HOWDY-HO !

RIGHT NOW YOU'RE NUTTIERTHAN CHINESE CHICKEN SALAD.

I MEAN YOU'RE ONESCREWED UP LITTLE KID.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND ?

SO TRY ANDSTAY POSITIVE,

STAY AWAY FROMDRUGS AND ALCOHOL.

AND IN THE MEANTIME,

I'M GONNA PUT ON AHEAVY REGIMEN OF PROZAC... OHH !

OH, OH MY GOD,YOU SICK LITTLE MONKEY !

WE JUST RECEIVED WORDFROM THE MAYOR

THAT THE CHRISTMAS PLAY

CAN'T INCLUDEANY CHRISTMAS LIGHTS,

SINCE THEY OFFENDPEOPLE WITH EPILEPSY.

SO KENNY,WOULD YOU PLEASE GO OVER

AND PULL THE LIGHT CORDSOUT OF THE WALL ?

CAREFUL NOW KENNY,

THOSE ARE VERY,VERY DANGEROUS.

OKAY, NOW LET'SPRACTICE OUR...

( counselor )NO, GET AWAY FROM ME !

HERE, JUST LOOK MORECLOSELY AT IT.

NO, GO AWAY !

STAN, YOU NEED TO DOSOMETHING ABOUT YOUR FRIEND.

OKAY ?

GET HIM OUT OF HEREBEFORE HE HURTS ANYBODY !

OKAY ?

HELLO,

WE NEED TO COMMITOUR FRIEND KYLE, PLEASE.

REASON ?

I'M A CLINICALLY DEPRESSEDFECALPHILIAC ON PROZAC.

ANY ALLERGIES ?

NO.

JACKET !

BYE KYLE,HAPPY CHANNUKAH.

WE'RE BORED.

THERE'S NOTHINGTO DO.

WELL MAYBETHIS WILL HELP.

YAY, MR. HANKEYCONSTRUCTION SET !

( announcer )THAT'S RIGHT KIDS,

NOW YOU CAN MAKE YOURVERY OWN MR. HANKEY !

JUST USE THE SPECIALFECAL FISHING NET,

AND SELECT YOURBEST MR. HANKEY.

THAT ONE !

THEN USE THE HAND-CRAFTEDHANKEY STERN TO ADD

WHATEVER EYES, MOUTH,AND HATS YOU WANT.

HOWDY-HO !

I MADE AMARIACHIMR. HANKEY.

NOW IT'S AMRS. HANKEY.

LET'S PUT THEFEZHAT ON HIM.

I WISH DADDYWAS STILL ALIVE.

MR. HANKEY PLAY SET COMESWITH EVERYTHING SEEN.

HEY, WHERE'SMR. HANKEY ?

I LOVE YOUSWEETHEART.

I LOVE YOU TOO.

THIS IS HORRIBLE,

EVERYBODYIS FIGHTING

AND MY BEST FRIENDIS IN AN INSTITUTION.

ALL BECAUSE WE DIDN'TBELIEVE IN MR. HANKEY.

WELL, YOU CANBELIEVE IN HIM NOW.

I BELIEVE.

I BELIEVEIN MR. HANKEY.

HOWDY-HO.

HUH ?

HUH ?

HOWDY FOLKS.

GOSH, YOU SURE DOSMELL NICE AND FLOWERY.

WHOA !

WHOA !

HOWDY-HO CHEF.

HOWDY-HO MR. HANKEY.

OKAY,THAT DOES IT.

SCREW YOU GUYS,I'M GOING HOME.

TALKING POO ISWHERE I DRAW THE LINE.

WHAT'S ALLTHE RUCKUS ?

I'M GLAD YOU'RE HEREMR. HANKEY.

THE WHOLE TOWN IS ABOUTTO KILL EACH OTHER.

I RECKON THIS COULDBE A JOB FOR MR. HANKEY.

( whistles )

STOP FIGHTING.

OH MY GOD,WHAT THE HELLIS THAT THING ?

COME ON GANG,DON'T FIGHT.

YOU PEOPLE FOCUS SO HARD

ON THE THINGSWRONG WITH CHRISTMAS,

THAT YOU'VE FORGOTTENWHAT'S SO RIGHT ABOUT IT.

DON'T YOU SEE ?

THIS IS THE ONETIME OF YEAR

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO FORGETALL THE BAD STUFF.

STOP WORRYING AND BEING SADABOUT THE STATE OF THE WORLD,

AND FOR JUST ONE DAY SAY"AH, THE HECK WITH IT".

LET'S SING AND DANCEAND BAKE COOKIES.

( single clap )

DUDE, THIS ISPRETTY %$#@! UP.

♪ I'M A JEW,A LONELY JEW ♪

OH NO...I'M NOT SANE YET.

I BROUGHT SOMEFRIENDS WITH ME.

FRIENDS ?

MERRY CHRISTMAS,KYLE BROSLOVSKI !

YOU MEAN YOUCAN SEE HIM ?

I'M NOT CRAZY ?

♪ MR. HANKEYTHE CHRISTMAS POO ♪

♪ HE LOVES MEI LOVE YOU ♪

♪ THEREFOREHE LOVES YOU ♪

♪ EVEN IF YOU'REA JEW ♪

♪ SOMETIMES HE'S NUTTY,SOMETIMES HE'S CORNY ♪

♪ HE CAN BE BROWNOR GREENISH BROWN ♪

♪ BUT IF YOU EAT FIBERON CHRISTMAS EVE ♪

♪ HE MIGHT COMETO YOUR TOWN ♪

♪ MR. HANKEY...

WELL, I GOT A LONGNIGHT AHEAD OF ME.

BYE-BYE, ANDMERRY CHRISTMAS.

GOODBYE, MR. HANKEY.

BRING ME LOTSOF PRESENTS !

I ALWAYSBELIEVED IN YOU.

( Santa )HOWDY-HO, HO, HO !

YOU KNOW, I LEARNEDSOMETHING TODAY.

I LEARNED THATJEWISH PEOPLE ARE OKAY.

AND THAT CHANNUKAHCAN BE COOL TOO.

YEAH.

YOU KNOW IT SEEMS LIKESOMETHING'S STILL NOT RIGHT.

YEAH SOMETHINGFEELS UNFINISHED.

WELL, WHATCOULD IT BE ?

WOO-HOO HOO !