[ Indistinct shouting ]
Detective Harris:Everyone, calm down. Please.
We have to have civil order.
Listen to me!
[ Shouting stops ]
Now, I know everyone is scared,
but we have to keep control.
Yes, all our e-mailsand Internet histories
are about to becomepublic knowledge.
[ Shouting resumes ]-But!
But![ Shouting stops ]
We all need to understandthat Troll Trace
will never happen if peopledon't log on to use it.
The websiteis a massive database
that cross-references everythingever said on the Internet.
It relies on people typing ina name and address
of someone elseto add to that database.
If we can all agree toresist the urge to look up
other people's Internethistories, Maggie, okay?
As long as we all respecteach other's privacy, darling,
then our town won't sufferthe same fate as Fort Collins.
And what arethe police gonna do
to make surepeople don't use it?
I know I'll certainlyrespect other's privacy.
But what about people likeLaura Tucker, the blabbermouth?
And that's why we have tocome together as a community
and resist any temptationto use Troll Trace, Maggie.
We have to stay in control.
This hack of our citywill never happen
so long as we can relyon the rationality
and the basic decencyof the American people.
[ Screaming ]-We're gonna die!
-Oh! We got to get the kids!-Get the kids! Let's go!
Guess I could haveworded that differently.
How dare you outrightdefy me like that?!
Your brother was being punishedfor using the computer,
and you decide tojust leave with him?!
I just felt bad for him,Ma.
You felt bad for him?!
After all the horrible thingshe said to people online?
Your brother is a sick troll,Kyle.
You just wait tillyour father gets home.
[ Slams door ]
[ FaceTime rings ]
Ike! Where the [bleep]have you been?!
Daddy needs your help.
You don't want Mommy and Daddyto get divorced, do you?
You knowhow bad your mom is.
She completely overreactsto everything.
That's where your brothergets it from.
You don't want to be like Kyle,do you?
Hey, buddy!Everything good there?
It was youthis whole time.
You're the troll who causedall this trouble.
No,it was your brother.
I don't know what's wrongwith him, Kyle.
He needs counseling or --
Heidi Turnerdid emoji analysis.
It was an adult.It was you!
Shh! Shh!Okay, keep your voice down.
[ Whispering ] Why, Dad?Why did you do this?!
Because it's [bleep] funny,Kyle.
It's called havinga sense of humor and laughing.
You should [bleep] try itonce in a while.
Putting a penis in the mouth ofa mom who has cancer is funny?!
Because it's so not funny,God!
Pushing people's buttonsto get a reaction
can actually be very goodfor society, Kyle.
Listen to me.The Danish are [bleep] crazy.
You have to get peopleto stop them.
-How?-Go get people riled up.
Call the president.I don't know.
When youpush people's buttons,
they go and pushother people's buttons.
Now, get out there and ---Kyle! Ike!
What the hell is this?!
What did I say?!
Get off of that computerright now!
Man:Uh, everyone, please, listen.
We don't have any rocketsgoing to Mars.
Now, you're not listening.
We don't have the energyrequirements figured out yet.
We're working as hard as we can.
There's a little girl working onthe problem right now,
and apparently, she's incrediblysmart and funny.
You got it figured out,babe?
Babe, I have no ideawhat any of this means.
Heidi, yes, you do.
You just have toget over yourself.
Come on. Say it.Say it.
Girls rule. Women are funny.Get over it.
Get over it, baby.
Stop holding yourself back.
[ Sighs ]
Uh, excuse me.
Sorry, can we have a word,please?
What the [bleep]do you want?!
[ Softly ]Hang on, babe.
This doesn't seem like it'sgonna work out,
and we're rather busy.
Just give her a chance.
She's the smartest,funniest girl on Earth.
I haven't really heard hersay anything funny.
Yeah, that's because you havea mental block, Elon Musk,
that won't let youget over yourself.
Butters: Hee, yeah!
Don't worry about Heidi.She's a hoot!
[ Door opens ]
Here they come.
Oh, thank God.
There's been a mistake,okay?
I'm not one of them.
My son is Skankhunt42.
Go online and see.
He's still doing it.
All of you,remove your clothes.
What are you gonnado to us?
Remove your clothes now!
In here. Move!
Oh, God!They're gonna kill us!
No, no, no, no, wait.
Okay, okay, it was me.
You're right.I'm Skankhunt.
But I'm not like them.
Please. I have a good job.I'm a good guy.
I was just being funny.
I was trying tomake people laugh.
That's a positive thing,right?
I wasn't doing itto hurt people.
I was just doing comedy.
Please, it's different!
[ Door clanks ]
Priest Maxi:Lord, we look to thee on this,
our most troubled hour.
We have been led astray,
and now all we can do is waitfor the inevitable to happen.
Soon, everything we havesaid and done online
is going to be known to all.
Many lives will beturned upside down.
Of course, I have nothingto be worried about.
Since I'm a priest,
there's nothing I'm ashamedof doing on the Internet,
so...definitely no reasonto look up my history.
But, uh, for many,this is a time to pray.
All:Oh, Lord, please forgive us
for things we might havedone online.
Men:Please try to understand
that even if some of uswere on ashleymadison.com,
it was only out of curiosity
and not becausewe'd actually have an affair.
Please understand thatwe might have used racial slurs,
but only becauseit was to a close friend
and never meant to be in public.
Kyle:What are you all doing?!
Somebody's threateningyour way of life,
and you're all justsitting here, praying?!
Like a-a bunch of babies?!
Likea bunch of pussies!
Come on!This isn't South Park.
What's happened to us?
We used to have a challengeand deal with it
then move on to the next one.
Now we've just beendealing with trolling
and Internet stuffover and over, week after week,
and I don't know about you, butI'm getting pretty sick of it!
Now, for once, let's takea stand and try to end this.
We can't let Denmark changewho we are.
You guys need to, you know,
call the presidentand get him to...take action.
Uh, the president?He won't listen to us.
He hates us now.
No. But there's somebodyhe will listen to.
like we've never seen.
Countries everywhereare terrified
their Internet may be hacked.
Well, what do theywant me to do about it?
You're the leaderof the free world.
Everyoneis looking to you to be
the calm and steady voicethey all need.
Mr. President, the IsraeliPrime Minister is on line one.
The Chancellor of Germanyis on line two.
And a Mr. Slaveis on line three.
This is the president.
Hey. What's up?
Well, well, well.
Crawling out of the woodworkto try and get me back
now that I'm a big cheese?
No, I'm calling becausepeople want you to bomb Denmark.
Who wants me tobomb Denmark?
Lots of people,'cause it's, like,
going to ruin their freedomof speech or something.
Mr. Slave, this is all
very complicateddiplomatic stuff, okay?
You can't just gobombing other countries.
Oh, Jesus Christ.You're such a little bitch.
Oh, I'm a bitch, huh?
I happen to be president,bitch!
You're a littlebitch president.
You're too scaredto bomb anybody.
I'm not scared!
My advisorshave told me that I --
Yeah, you're scared.
Just do what your littleadvisors tell you to do.
If I decide a military strikeon Denmark is warranted,
then I will --You don't have the ballsto bomb them, pussy.
Pussy ass bitch.
Pussy ass bitch.[Bleep] you.
Oh -- You -- Oh, okay!
You think so, huh?
Well, watch this,you gay asshole!
The Troll Trace buildingand the whole [bleep] thing --
Whatever it is,get the missiles ready!
Yeah, it worked.
[ Humming ]
-What are you doing?-Going pee.
I mean what are you doingcalling my girlfriend funny?
You better back off!
You don't even know her!
You haven't spentany time with her!
You're just saying it!
How do you even knowshe's funny?!
Well, 'cause you keeptelling everyone she is.
Butters,Heidi is everything to me.
If you try and take her,I swear to God, I will --
Eric, Eric, trust me.
I want nothing to do withgirlfriends.
I knowwhat girlfriends do.
They make you feelthe happiest you ever felt.
Then they crawl upinside of you and...
poop on your heart.
What are youtalking about?
That's how it ends,Eric.
Girlsget you to feel for them,
make you think they'rethe best thing in the world,
and then they leave,move on to the next thing,
and you're left there,crying,
with your heartcovered in poop.
She's really smart.
And really funny.
all communication with Denmarkhas ended
and that a military strikeon the country is now eminent."
Yay!"The president statedthat since the --"
-Are you serious right now?!-[ Screaming ]
Get off that computer!
Mom, we were just using itto look at the news.
I don't care.I said no computers!
You kids are addictedto the Internet!
You're sick,and you're addicted!
It's changed your brother.
And now it's turning youagainst me, Kyle!
I'm not against you,Mom.
Your father goes awayon business,
and all you do isdefy me at every turn!
The next time you defy me,it will be your last!
Do you understand?!
-Y-Yes, Mom.-Yes, Mom.
And when your fathergets home from Denmark,
you two are bothgoing in for counseling.
What is Dad doingin Denmark?!
The government sent him overthere to do paralegal training,
so it would have been nice
if you could have showna little support.
[ Slams door ]
[ Whimpering ]
Will somebodyshut him up?
Skank.Skank, get ahold of yourself.
You were right, Dildo,
when you saidI was a dick,
when you called mean asshole.
And now I'm gonna die alone,just like you said.
[ Crying ]
Come on.You're not an asshole.
You said I was, though, 'causeI only trolled to be funny.
Well --Well, maybe being funny
is just sort of how you dealwith serious subjects.
You don't thinkI'm a bad person?
All you guys,I'm sorry.
-That's okay.-That's okay.
Okay, Skank.All right.
Excuse me. Hello?
Could I please speakto the person in charge?
I have something to say.
Please, just for a moment?
Bring him tothe conference room.
Dude,I am so not getting this.
I just don'tunderstand it.
She's always beenreally smart before.
Don't feel bad aboutgetting duped, Eric.
It's happened to all of us.
Nobody's been duped!
Stop trying to suggestshe's being manipulative.
Why would shewant to trick me?
The truth is girls hate us,Eric.
They're sick of our shit.
And one day,they plan to make us obsolete,
stick us underground where wejust get milked for our semen.
Boys' only hopeis to start over on Mars.
That's the dumbest thingI've ever heard.
Heidi is the smartest,funniest person I've ever met!
I'm not being tricked!
And I'll prove itto everybody!
I just really need toget something off my chest.
I'm so sorry.
I have hadthe biggest epiphany about
the damage I've done,the people I've hurt,
but the fact of the matter isI'm not really a troll.
I actually have a job.I'm a lawyer.
I've got a loving wifeand great kids.
Um, I've got a family thatreally misses me and needs me.
Freja Ollengaurd, the volleyballplayer, had a family, too.
They miss herquite a lot.
And that --that is so tragic.
And I'm so sorry she was drivento kill herself by trolling.
It's -- It's wrong.
But, you know, I justsort of set things in motion.
See, I'm a satirist.
I challenge people's point ofviews by being sort of edgy.
And sometimes,people can be like, "Whoa!"
and mistake that for hate,but it's not hate.
It's pointing out hypocrisiesin our society.
You're so full of skinkinslatI can smell it from here.
If you say mean thingsand you're mean,
then I agreeyou should be killed.
But if you're being funny,which spreads joy --
You really thinkmy plan is to kill you?
Go.Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
Do you want to knowwhat's really funny?
Are you sure you wantto proceed with this?
Yeah, yeah.Bomb the shit out of them.
We have to be tough here.
Mr. President, the Grand Duke ofLuxembourg is on line one.
The Chairman of the WorkersParty is on line two.
And Kyleis on line three.
Oh, geez.What does Kyle want?
This is the president.
Mr. Garrison,you can't bomb Denmark!
Oh,for Pete's sake, Kyle.
It-It's wrong, and it couldstart a bigger war.
Kyle, this is all very seriousdiplomatic stuff, okay?
You can't understand
the political complexitiesinvolved here.
I understand you're a dipshitlittle gay puppet.
Letting your ex-boyfriendmanipulate you
'causeyou miss his sweet ass.
Who told you that?
Everyone knows that.
You only do whatyour little bitch boyfriend
manipulates you into do.
Kyle,I am the president.
You're a little dipshitpresident.
With a dirty asshole.
With a dirty asshole.
And you shitout your dick.
And you shitout your dick.
Where'd you learnto talk like this?
Oh, that's what people think,huh?
Well, maybeI won't bomb Denmark.
What do you thinkabout that?!
Yeah, you will, 'cause you'rea little retarded shit bitch.
God [bleep] damn it!
Hold up on the [bleep] bombsa minute!
Hey, baby.Uh, how's it going?
I don't understand whatany of these symbols mean,
so, in my head,I'm trying to replace them
with something I knowto try and see patterns.
Okay, cool. Um, babe,you remember that funny thing
you were saying about soupthe other day?
What was that again?
And when I do that, I can seehow everything lines up,
except for one thing.
Heidi: [ Thinking ] I call it[echoing] emoji analysis.
[ Echoing ] Emoji analysis.
Do you -- Do you remember
that funny voice you didat McDonald's?
You were like, "Could you --
Could you hand me my water,"or something.
I can't --I can't remember.
Those two don't line up,babe.
The only thingsthat are out of order.
Or the time you saidthe thing about clouds
and I was laughing so hard --What was that again?
Is it possible thatthe seventh line from the right
and the third one up from thebottom left are out of sequence?
That stuff there.It's in the wrong place.
It needs tocome before that.
Wait a minute. She might beon to something here.
Okay, okay,now could you just do
the "my vagina" thingfor them?
Could you just say,"my vagina"?
They're out of sequence!I'll show you!
What the [bleep] is happening?
when youand your little buddies
trolled the entire countryof Denmark?
And that was wrong, too.
I certainly wantto apologize for that.
That was certainly a display
of the power of trolling,wasn't it?
But what would beeven more impressive?
I-I don't understand.
What if you could trollthe entire world?
Somebody who could riseto political power
through nothing more thanpushing people's buttons
and getting themall riled up,
become the leader of...
a Scandinavian country,perhaps,
get them to listen to youwhen, actually
[American accent]you're not even [bleep] Danish.
Use that countryto create a machine
that relies onthe shittiness of people
to [bleep] over other people
and watch the whole worldgo completely batshit.
[ Danish accent ] Attentionall Troll Trace workers.
Please report to assembly hallone for a big announcement.
[ American accent ]Completely fool everyone
and keep your real intentionscompletely anonymous.
You would...deliberately startWorld War III,
let the people of Denmark die,
set everyone on Earthagainst each other?
Becauseit's freakin' hilarious!
Getting a Scandinavian countryto fight trolls
by building a giant machinethat actually shows
everyone on Earthis kind of a troll, too?
That's not funny.
That's not funny?!
Don't be a fag, dude.
That's real bro shit there.
Sorry to step onyour [bleep] dicks in the mouth
and tit jokes,you amateur little pussy.
Come on!Have some [bleep] balls!
You can't do thisto people!
It's not right!
[ Chuckles ]Listen to you.
[ Danish accent ]All right, everyone.
Show's about to begin.
[ Clicks ]
[ Beeps ]
[ Song playing ]
What the [bleep]is going on?
♪ Never gonna give you up,never gonna let you down ♪
♪ Never gonna run aroundand desert you ♪Uh-oh.
♪ Never gonna make you cry... Wow.That's pretty impressive.
♪ ...never gonna say goodbye
I don't know if I'm strongenough to go through with this,
but it's the only way now.
Just remember -- I alwaysloved you, little brother.
I love you, too,big brother.
Let's justget it over with.
[ Music plays softly ]
Suck my balls.
You're a fat bitch.
You get back here,you little monster!
I have had it with you!
Don't you run away from me,Ike!
Who do you think you are?!
Where is he?Where is your brother?
He's in the pantry.
Don't you try and hidefrom me now!
You are in big trouble,Ike!
Kyle, you open this doorright now!
-Ma. Mom, we are really sorry.-Open this door!
But Ike and Ineed to do something,
and we have to be ableto use the computers.
What, what?!No computers!
Do not touch the computers!
We have to do this, Mom.
It's the only thingthat can save our family now.
You are done!
You hear me?!
You are both done!
[ Screams ]
Cartman is certain that Butters is trying to steal his girlfriend.