- LAST WEEK, THE STUDENTSOF THIS SCHOOL
PARTICIPATED INTHE PRESIDENTIAL FITNESS TEST.
I AM SAD TO ANNOUNCETHAT SOUTH PARK ELEMENTARY
SCORED THE LOWESTIN HEALTH AND FITNESS
IN THE ENTIRE COUNTRY.
ON THE WHOLE, YOU STUDENTSACTUALLY SCORED FINE.
BUT THE PRESIDENT'SFITNESS TEST
IS SCORED ON A SCHOOL WIDEAVERAGE,
AND ONE FOURTH GRADERAT THIS SCHOOL SCORED SO LOW...
WITH A TERRIFYINGBODY FAT SCORE
AND HIGH BLOOD PRESSUREAND THE CHOLESTEROL LEVELS
OF A 70-YEAR-OLD MAN,
THAT IT ACTUALLY BROUGHTYOUR ENTIRE SCHOOL'S AVERAGE
DOWN TO THE LOWESTIN THE COUNTRY.
- [yawns]
- HOWEVER, THE PRESIDENTIALFITNESS PROGRAM
NEVER WANTSTO SINGLE OUT ONE CHILD,
BECAUSE THEN THAT CHILDMIGHT FEEL BAD,
AND SO AS FARAS WE'RE CONCERNED,
YOU'RE ALL A BUNCHOF FAT FUCKIN' PIGS.
- UH, COULD YOU PLEASE USEA LITTLE DIFFERENT TERMINOLOGY?
- SORRY...AS FARAS THE BOARD IS CONCERNED,
YOU'RE ALL A BUNCHOF FAT FUCKIN' PIGS.
AND SO IT IS THE RECOMMENDATIONOF THIS BOARD
THAT EVERY WEEK, EACH CLASSWILL ALTERNATE TURNS
GIVING UP THEIR RECESSESAND INSTEAD REPORTING TO P.E.
[students groan]
You're All A Bunch of Fat Pigs
1% s15e12
The school hears the results of the Presidential Fitness Test.

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